The Wisdom of Play

"The more we feel comfortable with the idea that our personal success hinges on the success of those around us, the easier it is to be empathetic and of service to those we love and care about." —Brady Gill

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If mindfulness is being in love with the present moment, then play is the most fun access point to that state. In their upcoming workshop, The Power of Play and Human Connection in the Digital Age, Adam Smiley Poswolsky (pictured right) and Brady Gill (below) create a tech-free “playshop” designed to awaken our creative potential and illuminate the wisdom and grace available when we intentionally bring play and playfulness into our lives and our work.

Adam, a millennial workplace expert and the best-selling author of The Quarter-Life Breakthrough and Brady, a writer/performer and camp director of Camp Anywhere, a summer camp for grown-ups, share more with Esalen News.

Esalen News: How is play healthy for the brain and our happiness?

Adam: Scientists have shown that the experience of play changes connections of neurons in the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which regulates emotions, planning and problem-solving. This is why childhood play is so important. Play is an essential part of healthy brain development, positively impacting all aspects of our future lives.

But what happens when we keep building those new connections of neurons long after childhood? Our brain functions improve. We are more creative. We build positive relationships. We feel more energetic and healthier.

Brady: When we are in a play state, we lose track of time and release inhibitions that keep us from being our best selves. We find ourselves feeling safer, able to take risks and make deep and authentic connections with ourselves and others. Playful connection is essential now when digital communication seems to be quickly replacing human contact and our lives are more and more defined by what we do, rather than who we are.

Esalen News: In addition to interactive games, playshops and creative writing, your workshop features elements of improv. What are some of the benefits of improv in our day-to-day lives?

Adam: Improv isn’t just a class you go to on Tuesday nights. It’s a leadership tool. It’s a way to be a better manager, colleague, partner and friend. As a public speaker, I’ve found that improv cultivates vulnerability and authenticity. You are more real, present and in the moment. You are more likely to connect with those around you more willing to make mistakes.

Brady: As an improviser, your job is to always make your fellow “performers” look good by sticking to the key tenant of improv, which is "yes, and." Whatever your fellow players throw your way, you always accept it and build on it. This is a hard thing to do in real life, but the more we feel comfortable with the idea that our personal success hinges on the success of those around us, the easier it is to be empathetic and of service to those we love and care about.

Esalen News: What other unique modes of play help adults?

Adam: There are many forms of play. What we all need to do is figure out what play looks like to us as individuals and then find ways to add it to our schedule or alchemize it with our day-to-day activities.

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Brady: While some might find access to play in the more traditional approaches like sports or games, others my find their play by organizing their home, directing a big project, keeping a collection, dancing, reading a great book, storytelling, exploring a new city or even just having a humorous conversation. Everyone accesses play in different ways.

Esalen News: What has your work shown you in regards to what adults are really seeking today?

Adam: I’ve discovered that adults are spending too much time comparing themselves to others. Social media has created a 24/7 highlight reel that we can never truly live up to. We are seeking these Instagram-able peak experiences, but peak experiences actually happen when we’re offline and in the moment.

We have to stop chasing and start being. We are starving for offline, in-person connection and the permission to show up as we truly are, not as some filtered version of our personal brand or how we think we’re supposed to be.

Brady: One of the biggest and most damaging lies in our world is what it means to be a grown-up: grown-ups know everything and don't make mistakes; grown-ups are always striving to work harder to make more money and play is superfluous and only to be indulged in during the almost mythical times when all other responsibilities are done.

The most essential and crucial piece of wisdom found in any program I have led is giving adults the permission to let that go and to play. Most of us are so self-critical that it feels impossible to give ourselves that permission. But when someone gives it to us, we often eagerly accept it and find joy and wisdom in our access to play.

Esalen News: What key actions we can take after the workshop to be more mindful of our tech use?

Adam: The first action to take is to prioritize in-person relationships. When you’re on a hike or playing a game or having dinner with friends, leave your phone in the other room. If you want, take a selfie first but then put the phones away. Folks will be less distracted with their emails, Instagram stories and Tinder dates, and they will be more likely to connect and laugh with each other.

See what happens when you make your weekly check-in meetings at the office tech-free. Chances are, they will be more productive, your team will connect on a deeper level and you will come up with more innovative ideas.

Brady: By prioritizing time in your day for play and incorporating play into your daily routine, you will find more joy, ease, creativity, connection and peace in your life. Take time to think about how you like to play. If that's hard to do, think back to when you were a child and ask that part of you how they most like to play. More than likely, not much has changed.

Adam and Brady will be teaching The Power of Play and Human Connection in the Digital Age at Esalen the weekend of March 20–22, 2020.

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