In anticipation of hir (pronoun of choice) spring workshop, The Akashic Records: Diminishing Isolation, Loneliness, and Disconnection, Roksana Badruddoja shares thoughts on the legacy of Cleopatra and the story of Nyctea the Owl Woman: “The rhythm flows into a melody, and with her song, she breathes life into the owl once more.” The cultural sociologist and Gomti River ceremonialist tells us about connecting to hir ancestors through ritual, drawing strength from decolonial feminist teachings, and remembering that “spirituality is an act of resistance and reclamation.”
What do you do/are you doing at Esalen?
I bring to Esalen is an experiential heart-centered workshop that focuses on exploring grief in a life-affirming way for self-repair through the sacred wisdom of the Akashic Records and the qualitative feminist writing technique known as autohistoria-teoría. What I aim to bring to Esalen is a reimagining of our life's actions, embracing grief as a transformative pathway to recognize the divinity in the life we have.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
The greatest loves of my life are my daughter and my unborn children. My daughter embodies the joy, pride, and depth of love that come with witnessing her growth and resilience. She is a constant reminder of the beauty of nurturing and connection. My unborn children represent hope, possibility, and the dreams I carry for the future — a continuation of love and legacy that ties past, present, and future together. They are all the heart of my purpose and the truest expressions of my capacity to love.
What is your most treasured possession?
My Möjlnir is my ancestral nose ring –– because it carries the history, resilience, and beauty of the mothers who came before me. It is a tangible reminder of my lineage, a connection to my ancestors whose features I bear as a testament to their survival, struggles, and triumphs. My nose ring is a symbol of defiance, self-love, and pride. It tells a story of heritage and belonging that I carry with me every day.
How do you maintain your practice(s) during challenging times?
During challenging times, I maintain my spiritual practices by grounding myself in rituals that connect me to my ancestors, my body, and Ma Bhümi or Mother Earth. I lean into practices like meditation, prayer, and journaling to create space to engage with my grief. I also draw strength from decolonial feminist teachings, which remind me that spirituality is an act of resistance and reclamation. These practices anchor me, reminding me of my resilience, purpose, and the communities that hold me, even in the hardest moments.
What is your most marked characteristic?
The vastness of my resilience and lived experience — the intrinsic value I bring to the world. My existence carries the depth and strength of my communities, histories, and multifaceted selfhood marked by boundless potential and interconnectedness.
Who are your inspirations?
My greatest inspiration comes from my ancestors and decolonial feminist scholarship. My ancestors ground me, embodying resilience, wisdom, and resistance in the face of colonization and systemic oppression. Their stories, struggles, and triumphs are the foundation of my identity, reminding me of the strength I inherit and the responsibility I carry. Decolonial feminist scholarship deepens this connection, offering critical tools to challenge dominant narratives and envision liberatory futures. Together, they guide me toward a path of healing, justice, and transformation, inspiring me to honor the past while striving for a more equitable and inclusive world.
Who is your hero of fiction?
Nyctea the Owl Woman: Nyctea’s purpose is to safeguard what is at risk of vanishing from this world, so her cave is filled with bones. Among them, the most precious are those of her namesake, the owl. With great care, she painstakingly reconstructs the owl’s skeleton. Once it is whole, she sits by her fire, contemplating the song she will create. In this still moment of love, the deep drumbeat of her heart becomes audible. The rhythm flows into a melody, and with her song, she breathes life into the owl once more.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Cleopatra's legacy as a powerful, multidimensional leader resonates deeply with me. She was a WoC navigating a patriarchal, imperialist world, exercising intelligence, political acumen, and resilience to assert her agency. Like Cleopatra, I inhabit intersections of identity that challenge dominant narratives, and her ability to subvert power structures to carve out space for her leadership inspires me. Her life reminds me of the complexities of representation, the strategic adaptability required for survival, and the unapologetic assertion of one's worth despite societal erasure or vilification.
How would you like to die?
I view life and death as a continuum shaped by my relationships. I would like to die in a way that reflects a sense of peace and connection to the world I’ve been part of.
What is your motto?
"I am not a drop in the ocean; I am the entire ocean in a drop." — Rumi
“Remembering to be as self compassionate as I can and praying to the divine that we're all a part of.”
–Aaron
“Prayer, reading, meditation, walking.”
–Karen
“Erratically — which is an ongoing stream of practice to find peace.”
–Charles
“Try on a daily basis to be kind to myself and to realize that making mistakes is a part of the human condition. Learning from our mistakes is a journey. But it starts with compassion and caring. First for oneself.”
–Steve
“Physically: aerobic exercise, volleyball, ice hockey, cycling, sailing. Emotionally: unfortunately I have to work to ‘not care’ about people or situations which may end painfully. Along the lines of ‘attachment is the source of suffering’, so best to avoid it or limit its scope. Sad though because it could also be the source of great joy. Is it worth the risk?“
–Rainer
“It's time for my heart to be nurtured on one level yet contained on another. To go easy on me and to allow my feelings to be validated, not judged harshly. On the other hand, to let the heart rule with equanimity and not lead the mind and body around like a master.”
–Suzanne
“I spend time thinking of everything I am grateful for, and I try to develop my ability to express compassion for myself and others without reservation. I take time to do the things I need to do to keep myself healthy and happy. This includes taking experiential workshops, fostering relationships, and participating within groups which have a similar interest to become a more compassionate and fulfilled being.“
–Peter
“Self-forgiveness for my own judgments. And oh yeah, coming to Esalen.”
–David B.
“Hmm, this is a tough one! I guess I take care of my heart through fostering relationships with people I feel connected to. Spending quality time with them (whether we're on the phone, through messages/letters, on Zoom, or in-person). Being there for them, listening to them, sharing what's going on with me, my struggles and my successes... like we do in the Esalen weekly Friends of Esalen Zoom sessions!”
–Lori
“I remind myself in many ways of the fact that " Love is all there is!" LOVE is the prize and this one precious life is the stage we get to learn our lessons. I get out into nature, hike, camp, river kayak, fly fish, garden, I create, I dance (not enough!), and I remain grateful for each day, each breath, each moment. Being in the moment, awake, and remembering the gift of life and my feeling of gratitude for all of creation.”
–Steven
“My physical heart by limiting stress and eating a heart-healthy diet. My emotional heart by staying in love with the world and by knowing that all disappointment and loss will pass.“
–David Z.
Today, September 29, is World Heart Day. Strike up a conversation with your own heart and as you feel comfortable, encourage others to do the same. As part of our own transformations and self-care, we sometimes ask for others to illuminate and enliven our hearts or speak our love language.
What if we could do this for ourselves too, even if just for today… or to start a heart practice, forever?
In anticipation of hir (pronoun of choice) spring workshop, The Akashic Records: Diminishing Isolation, Loneliness, and Disconnection, Roksana Badruddoja shares thoughts on the legacy of Cleopatra and the story of Nyctea the Owl Woman: “The rhythm flows into a melody, and with her song, she breathes life into the owl once more.” The cultural sociologist and Gomti River ceremonialist tells us about connecting to hir ancestors through ritual, drawing strength from decolonial feminist teachings, and remembering that “spirituality is an act of resistance and reclamation.”
What do you do/are you doing at Esalen?
I bring to Esalen is an experiential heart-centered workshop that focuses on exploring grief in a life-affirming way for self-repair through the sacred wisdom of the Akashic Records and the qualitative feminist writing technique known as autohistoria-teoría. What I aim to bring to Esalen is a reimagining of our life's actions, embracing grief as a transformative pathway to recognize the divinity in the life we have.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
The greatest loves of my life are my daughter and my unborn children. My daughter embodies the joy, pride, and depth of love that come with witnessing her growth and resilience. She is a constant reminder of the beauty of nurturing and connection. My unborn children represent hope, possibility, and the dreams I carry for the future — a continuation of love and legacy that ties past, present, and future together. They are all the heart of my purpose and the truest expressions of my capacity to love.
What is your most treasured possession?
My Möjlnir is my ancestral nose ring –– because it carries the history, resilience, and beauty of the mothers who came before me. It is a tangible reminder of my lineage, a connection to my ancestors whose features I bear as a testament to their survival, struggles, and triumphs. My nose ring is a symbol of defiance, self-love, and pride. It tells a story of heritage and belonging that I carry with me every day.
How do you maintain your practice(s) during challenging times?
During challenging times, I maintain my spiritual practices by grounding myself in rituals that connect me to my ancestors, my body, and Ma Bhümi or Mother Earth. I lean into practices like meditation, prayer, and journaling to create space to engage with my grief. I also draw strength from decolonial feminist teachings, which remind me that spirituality is an act of resistance and reclamation. These practices anchor me, reminding me of my resilience, purpose, and the communities that hold me, even in the hardest moments.
What is your most marked characteristic?
The vastness of my resilience and lived experience — the intrinsic value I bring to the world. My existence carries the depth and strength of my communities, histories, and multifaceted selfhood marked by boundless potential and interconnectedness.
Who are your inspirations?
My greatest inspiration comes from my ancestors and decolonial feminist scholarship. My ancestors ground me, embodying resilience, wisdom, and resistance in the face of colonization and systemic oppression. Their stories, struggles, and triumphs are the foundation of my identity, reminding me of the strength I inherit and the responsibility I carry. Decolonial feminist scholarship deepens this connection, offering critical tools to challenge dominant narratives and envision liberatory futures. Together, they guide me toward a path of healing, justice, and transformation, inspiring me to honor the past while striving for a more equitable and inclusive world.
Who is your hero of fiction?
Nyctea the Owl Woman: Nyctea’s purpose is to safeguard what is at risk of vanishing from this world, so her cave is filled with bones. Among them, the most precious are those of her namesake, the owl. With great care, she painstakingly reconstructs the owl’s skeleton. Once it is whole, she sits by her fire, contemplating the song she will create. In this still moment of love, the deep drumbeat of her heart becomes audible. The rhythm flows into a melody, and with her song, she breathes life into the owl once more.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Cleopatra's legacy as a powerful, multidimensional leader resonates deeply with me. She was a WoC navigating a patriarchal, imperialist world, exercising intelligence, political acumen, and resilience to assert her agency. Like Cleopatra, I inhabit intersections of identity that challenge dominant narratives, and her ability to subvert power structures to carve out space for her leadership inspires me. Her life reminds me of the complexities of representation, the strategic adaptability required for survival, and the unapologetic assertion of one's worth despite societal erasure or vilification.
How would you like to die?
I view life and death as a continuum shaped by my relationships. I would like to die in a way that reflects a sense of peace and connection to the world I’ve been part of.
What is your motto?
"I am not a drop in the ocean; I am the entire ocean in a drop." — Rumi
“Remembering to be as self compassionate as I can and praying to the divine that we're all a part of.”
–Aaron
“Prayer, reading, meditation, walking.”
–Karen
“Erratically — which is an ongoing stream of practice to find peace.”
–Charles
“Try on a daily basis to be kind to myself and to realize that making mistakes is a part of the human condition. Learning from our mistakes is a journey. But it starts with compassion and caring. First for oneself.”
–Steve
“Physically: aerobic exercise, volleyball, ice hockey, cycling, sailing. Emotionally: unfortunately I have to work to ‘not care’ about people or situations which may end painfully. Along the lines of ‘attachment is the source of suffering’, so best to avoid it or limit its scope. Sad though because it could also be the source of great joy. Is it worth the risk?“
–Rainer
“It's time for my heart to be nurtured on one level yet contained on another. To go easy on me and to allow my feelings to be validated, not judged harshly. On the other hand, to let the heart rule with equanimity and not lead the mind and body around like a master.”
–Suzanne
“I spend time thinking of everything I am grateful for, and I try to develop my ability to express compassion for myself and others without reservation. I take time to do the things I need to do to keep myself healthy and happy. This includes taking experiential workshops, fostering relationships, and participating within groups which have a similar interest to become a more compassionate and fulfilled being.“
–Peter
“Self-forgiveness for my own judgments. And oh yeah, coming to Esalen.”
–David B.
“Hmm, this is a tough one! I guess I take care of my heart through fostering relationships with people I feel connected to. Spending quality time with them (whether we're on the phone, through messages/letters, on Zoom, or in-person). Being there for them, listening to them, sharing what's going on with me, my struggles and my successes... like we do in the Esalen weekly Friends of Esalen Zoom sessions!”
–Lori
“I remind myself in many ways of the fact that " Love is all there is!" LOVE is the prize and this one precious life is the stage we get to learn our lessons. I get out into nature, hike, camp, river kayak, fly fish, garden, I create, I dance (not enough!), and I remain grateful for each day, each breath, each moment. Being in the moment, awake, and remembering the gift of life and my feeling of gratitude for all of creation.”
–Steven
“My physical heart by limiting stress and eating a heart-healthy diet. My emotional heart by staying in love with the world and by knowing that all disappointment and loss will pass.“
–David Z.
Today, September 29, is World Heart Day. Strike up a conversation with your own heart and as you feel comfortable, encourage others to do the same. As part of our own transformations and self-care, we sometimes ask for others to illuminate and enliven our hearts or speak our love language.
What if we could do this for ourselves too, even if just for today… or to start a heart practice, forever?
In anticipation of hir (pronoun of choice) spring workshop, The Akashic Records: Diminishing Isolation, Loneliness, and Disconnection, Roksana Badruddoja shares thoughts on the legacy of Cleopatra and the story of Nyctea the Owl Woman: “The rhythm flows into a melody, and with her song, she breathes life into the owl once more.” The cultural sociologist and Gomti River ceremonialist tells us about connecting to hir ancestors through ritual, drawing strength from decolonial feminist teachings, and remembering that “spirituality is an act of resistance and reclamation.”
What do you do/are you doing at Esalen?
I bring to Esalen is an experiential heart-centered workshop that focuses on exploring grief in a life-affirming way for self-repair through the sacred wisdom of the Akashic Records and the qualitative feminist writing technique known as autohistoria-teoría. What I aim to bring to Esalen is a reimagining of our life's actions, embracing grief as a transformative pathway to recognize the divinity in the life we have.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
The greatest loves of my life are my daughter and my unborn children. My daughter embodies the joy, pride, and depth of love that come with witnessing her growth and resilience. She is a constant reminder of the beauty of nurturing and connection. My unborn children represent hope, possibility, and the dreams I carry for the future — a continuation of love and legacy that ties past, present, and future together. They are all the heart of my purpose and the truest expressions of my capacity to love.
What is your most treasured possession?
My Möjlnir is my ancestral nose ring –– because it carries the history, resilience, and beauty of the mothers who came before me. It is a tangible reminder of my lineage, a connection to my ancestors whose features I bear as a testament to their survival, struggles, and triumphs. My nose ring is a symbol of defiance, self-love, and pride. It tells a story of heritage and belonging that I carry with me every day.
How do you maintain your practice(s) during challenging times?
During challenging times, I maintain my spiritual practices by grounding myself in rituals that connect me to my ancestors, my body, and Ma Bhümi or Mother Earth. I lean into practices like meditation, prayer, and journaling to create space to engage with my grief. I also draw strength from decolonial feminist teachings, which remind me that spirituality is an act of resistance and reclamation. These practices anchor me, reminding me of my resilience, purpose, and the communities that hold me, even in the hardest moments.
What is your most marked characteristic?
The vastness of my resilience and lived experience — the intrinsic value I bring to the world. My existence carries the depth and strength of my communities, histories, and multifaceted selfhood marked by boundless potential and interconnectedness.
Who are your inspirations?
My greatest inspiration comes from my ancestors and decolonial feminist scholarship. My ancestors ground me, embodying resilience, wisdom, and resistance in the face of colonization and systemic oppression. Their stories, struggles, and triumphs are the foundation of my identity, reminding me of the strength I inherit and the responsibility I carry. Decolonial feminist scholarship deepens this connection, offering critical tools to challenge dominant narratives and envision liberatory futures. Together, they guide me toward a path of healing, justice, and transformation, inspiring me to honor the past while striving for a more equitable and inclusive world.
Who is your hero of fiction?
Nyctea the Owl Woman: Nyctea’s purpose is to safeguard what is at risk of vanishing from this world, so her cave is filled with bones. Among them, the most precious are those of her namesake, the owl. With great care, she painstakingly reconstructs the owl’s skeleton. Once it is whole, she sits by her fire, contemplating the song she will create. In this still moment of love, the deep drumbeat of her heart becomes audible. The rhythm flows into a melody, and with her song, she breathes life into the owl once more.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Cleopatra's legacy as a powerful, multidimensional leader resonates deeply with me. She was a WoC navigating a patriarchal, imperialist world, exercising intelligence, political acumen, and resilience to assert her agency. Like Cleopatra, I inhabit intersections of identity that challenge dominant narratives, and her ability to subvert power structures to carve out space for her leadership inspires me. Her life reminds me of the complexities of representation, the strategic adaptability required for survival, and the unapologetic assertion of one's worth despite societal erasure or vilification.
How would you like to die?
I view life and death as a continuum shaped by my relationships. I would like to die in a way that reflects a sense of peace and connection to the world I’ve been part of.
What is your motto?
"I am not a drop in the ocean; I am the entire ocean in a drop." — Rumi
“Remembering to be as self compassionate as I can and praying to the divine that we're all a part of.”
–Aaron
“Prayer, reading, meditation, walking.”
–Karen
“Erratically — which is an ongoing stream of practice to find peace.”
–Charles
“Try on a daily basis to be kind to myself and to realize that making mistakes is a part of the human condition. Learning from our mistakes is a journey. But it starts with compassion and caring. First for oneself.”
–Steve
“Physically: aerobic exercise, volleyball, ice hockey, cycling, sailing. Emotionally: unfortunately I have to work to ‘not care’ about people or situations which may end painfully. Along the lines of ‘attachment is the source of suffering’, so best to avoid it or limit its scope. Sad though because it could also be the source of great joy. Is it worth the risk?“
–Rainer
“It's time for my heart to be nurtured on one level yet contained on another. To go easy on me and to allow my feelings to be validated, not judged harshly. On the other hand, to let the heart rule with equanimity and not lead the mind and body around like a master.”
–Suzanne
“I spend time thinking of everything I am grateful for, and I try to develop my ability to express compassion for myself and others without reservation. I take time to do the things I need to do to keep myself healthy and happy. This includes taking experiential workshops, fostering relationships, and participating within groups which have a similar interest to become a more compassionate and fulfilled being.“
–Peter
“Self-forgiveness for my own judgments. And oh yeah, coming to Esalen.”
–David B.
“Hmm, this is a tough one! I guess I take care of my heart through fostering relationships with people I feel connected to. Spending quality time with them (whether we're on the phone, through messages/letters, on Zoom, or in-person). Being there for them, listening to them, sharing what's going on with me, my struggles and my successes... like we do in the Esalen weekly Friends of Esalen Zoom sessions!”
–Lori
“I remind myself in many ways of the fact that " Love is all there is!" LOVE is the prize and this one precious life is the stage we get to learn our lessons. I get out into nature, hike, camp, river kayak, fly fish, garden, I create, I dance (not enough!), and I remain grateful for each day, each breath, each moment. Being in the moment, awake, and remembering the gift of life and my feeling of gratitude for all of creation.”
–Steven
“My physical heart by limiting stress and eating a heart-healthy diet. My emotional heart by staying in love with the world and by knowing that all disappointment and loss will pass.“
–David Z.
Today, September 29, is World Heart Day. Strike up a conversation with your own heart and as you feel comfortable, encourage others to do the same. As part of our own transformations and self-care, we sometimes ask for others to illuminate and enliven our hearts or speak our love language.
What if we could do this for ourselves too, even if just for today… or to start a heart practice, forever?
Esalen Institute
55000 Highway 1
Big Sur, CA 93920
US: 1-831-667-3000
info@esalen.org
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