Inspired by 20th-century French writer Marcel Proust, we here at Esalen have created our own version of his favorite parlor game to dig just a little deeper — and differently — into our incredible faculty and staff.
The founder of Black Boys OM on expansiveness, sadhana, and why participating with Black American culture “through the unique lens of mind-body-spirit health” brings him the most happiness. In anticipation of his 2025 workshop, Healing, Rest, and Embodied Liberation for Men of Color, the meditation and yoga instructor reveals some personal heroes, reminds us that the divine is all there is, and shares the very best personal motto we’ve ever heard.
What is Esalen to you?
A reminder of my own expansiveness. A reminder that the fabric of reality is abundant and that I’m not separate from that in my own embodiment or in any other sense.
What do you do/are you doing at Esalen?
I’m co-leading a workshop centering rest and healing for men of color. It’s been a dream of mine to hold space for Black men and men of color at Esalen for a number of years now, and I’m so grateful to see the dream come to life. I created Black Boys OM because the problem of limited access to mind-body health resources for Black boys and men is widespread and severe, this due to a combination of systemic barriers, such as limited representation of Black Male Wellness practitioners in the field, racial disparities in access to healthcare and wellness resources, and the lack of culturally responsive programs and spaces.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Constant awareness of the Divine — to be tapped into and resting in that.
What is your greatest fear in your work?
As time goes on, I think I fear lack of acknowledgement. As much as I say I don’t care, I want my flowers while I’m alive. “Hey, my second book was featured in Forbes! Read the Forbes article and read that book!” “Hey, I wrote five books; buy my books!” “Hey, I worked tirelessly for six and a half years on Black Boys OM and we don’t get nearly enough credit or funding.” Stuff like that.
Which living or dead person do you most admire in your field?
Abinvagupta, the Indian philosopher, aesthetician, musician, poet, dramatist, and theologian from the 10th century, was a badass. Abinavupta is a great sage of Classical Tantra (Nondual Shakta-Shaiva Tantra) and he articulated what it meant for this tradition to touch the lives of householders. Classical Tantra does not seek transcendence from the body or isolation from the world but rather full experience of all that life is and has to offer because the divine is a pattern that is indistinguishable from the fabric of reality itself. All pervasive consciousness expressing, disclosing, and awakening to itself over and over again because consciousness — this divine pattern is all there is.
What is your greatest extravagance related to your practice?
That doesn’t exist yet. Maybe if I sell a ton of books, it will.
What is your current state of mind?
Ego attrition and experiencing reality directly free from stories about myself, the world, and others.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Rest and trust.
What is the quality you most like in a human?
Divinity / Consciousness / Personal Magic
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
I am the love of my life. My soul is my mate. I’m grateful to have a romantic partner that understands that fundamental way of how I choose to show up in the world of my care of myself.
What about your work brings you the most happiness?
Black American culture is so ineffably unique, and I’m grateful that I get to participate in it through the unique lens of mind-body-spirit health in addition to creative ways of remembering innate wholeness and divinity. There’s nothing quite like it.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I would love to be able to speak any language.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would heal some things in my embodiment that I’m aware of and heal the things that I’m not aware of.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Choosing to stay here despite suicidal ideation.
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Maybe another human again. Maybe.
What would living at Esalen for a month be like for you?
I lived at Esalen for several months — multiple times. I had a romantic fling, amazing housemates, rediscovered my own vastness, had a tree pierce the roof while I slept inches away from my head, had life-changing conversations in the Baths, signed my own books in the bookstore, ate amazing food, worked super hard at cleaning spaces, taught yoga, meditation, self-discovery, journaling, and somatic movement. I danced until I was exhausted, saw spirits, was strong against heartbreak, downloaded new ideas, and created art.
What is your most treasured possession?
Sadhana.
How do you maintain your practice(s) during challenging times?
I keep doing them because, during challenging times, the practices are all I have. Sadhana helps me remember Paradevi and that all is God even when my conditioning “feels” otherwise.
What is your favorite component of your work?
The ability to make something out of nothing and to help people re-center and remember their own divinity.
What is your most marked characteristic?
My voice is really soft. My speech is slow-paced but intentional, and I’m deeply empathetic.
What do you value most in your work/practice?
The constant opportunity to remember that the divine is all there is.
Who are your inspirations?
Dr. Christopher Wallis, Butch Ware, Toni Morrison, Ta-Nehisi Coates, James Baldwin, Angela Davis, Buika, Big Sean, Tupac Shakur, Malidoma Patrice Somé.
Who is your hero of fiction?
I’m writing about them now in my Afrofuturist novel (to be released in two parts, fall 2025 and spring 2026).
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Jean-Michel Basquiat and James Baldwin.
Who are your heroes in real life?
Malidoma Patrice Somé, Dr. Christopher Wallis, Beyoncé, Oprah Winfrey, Angela Davis
What is your greatest regret?
Letting capitalism tell me I should take my life. Fuck capitalism; I’m brilliant.
How would you like to die?
At Esalen — looking at the ocean and at peace.
What is your motto?
No person, no problem.
“Remembering to be as self compassionate as I can and praying to the divine that we're all a part of.”
–Aaron
“Prayer, reading, meditation, walking.”
–Karen
“Erratically — which is an ongoing stream of practice to find peace.”
–Charles
“Try on a daily basis to be kind to myself and to realize that making mistakes is a part of the human condition. Learning from our mistakes is a journey. But it starts with compassion and caring. First for oneself.”
–Steve
“Physically: aerobic exercise, volleyball, ice hockey, cycling, sailing. Emotionally: unfortunately I have to work to ‘not care’ about people or situations which may end painfully. Along the lines of ‘attachment is the source of suffering’, so best to avoid it or limit its scope. Sad though because it could also be the source of great joy. Is it worth the risk?“
–Rainer
“It's time for my heart to be nurtured on one level yet contained on another. To go easy on me and to allow my feelings to be validated, not judged harshly. On the other hand, to let the heart rule with equanimity and not lead the mind and body around like a master.”
–Suzanne
“I spend time thinking of everything I am grateful for, and I try to develop my ability to express compassion for myself and others without reservation. I take time to do the things I need to do to keep myself healthy and happy. This includes taking experiential workshops, fostering relationships, and participating within groups which have a similar interest to become a more compassionate and fulfilled being.“
–Peter
“Self-forgiveness for my own judgments. And oh yeah, coming to Esalen.”
–David B.
“Hmm, this is a tough one! I guess I take care of my heart through fostering relationships with people I feel connected to. Spending quality time with them (whether we're on the phone, through messages/letters, on Zoom, or in-person). Being there for them, listening to them, sharing what's going on with me, my struggles and my successes... like we do in the Esalen weekly Friends of Esalen Zoom sessions!”
–Lori
“I remind myself in many ways of the fact that " Love is all there is!" LOVE is the prize and this one precious life is the stage we get to learn our lessons. I get out into nature, hike, camp, river kayak, fly fish, garden, I create, I dance (not enough!), and I remain grateful for each day, each breath, each moment. Being in the moment, awake, and remembering the gift of life and my feeling of gratitude for all of creation.”
–Steven
“My physical heart by limiting stress and eating a heart-healthy diet. My emotional heart by staying in love with the world and by knowing that all disappointment and loss will pass.“
–David Z.
Today, September 29, is World Heart Day. Strike up a conversation with your own heart and as you feel comfortable, encourage others to do the same. As part of our own transformations and self-care, we sometimes ask for others to illuminate and enliven our hearts or speak our love language.
What if we could do this for ourselves too, even if just for today… or to start a heart practice, forever?
Inspired by 20th-century French writer Marcel Proust, we here at Esalen have created our own version of his favorite parlor game to dig just a little deeper — and differently — into our incredible faculty and staff.
The founder of Black Boys OM on expansiveness, sadhana, and why participating with Black American culture “through the unique lens of mind-body-spirit health” brings him the most happiness. In anticipation of his 2025 workshop, Healing, Rest, and Embodied Liberation for Men of Color, the meditation and yoga instructor reveals some personal heroes, reminds us that the divine is all there is, and shares the very best personal motto we’ve ever heard.
What is Esalen to you?
A reminder of my own expansiveness. A reminder that the fabric of reality is abundant and that I’m not separate from that in my own embodiment or in any other sense.
What do you do/are you doing at Esalen?
I’m co-leading a workshop centering rest and healing for men of color. It’s been a dream of mine to hold space for Black men and men of color at Esalen for a number of years now, and I’m so grateful to see the dream come to life. I created Black Boys OM because the problem of limited access to mind-body health resources for Black boys and men is widespread and severe, this due to a combination of systemic barriers, such as limited representation of Black Male Wellness practitioners in the field, racial disparities in access to healthcare and wellness resources, and the lack of culturally responsive programs and spaces.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Constant awareness of the Divine — to be tapped into and resting in that.
What is your greatest fear in your work?
As time goes on, I think I fear lack of acknowledgement. As much as I say I don’t care, I want my flowers while I’m alive. “Hey, my second book was featured in Forbes! Read the Forbes article and read that book!” “Hey, I wrote five books; buy my books!” “Hey, I worked tirelessly for six and a half years on Black Boys OM and we don’t get nearly enough credit or funding.” Stuff like that.
Which living or dead person do you most admire in your field?
Abinvagupta, the Indian philosopher, aesthetician, musician, poet, dramatist, and theologian from the 10th century, was a badass. Abinavupta is a great sage of Classical Tantra (Nondual Shakta-Shaiva Tantra) and he articulated what it meant for this tradition to touch the lives of householders. Classical Tantra does not seek transcendence from the body or isolation from the world but rather full experience of all that life is and has to offer because the divine is a pattern that is indistinguishable from the fabric of reality itself. All pervasive consciousness expressing, disclosing, and awakening to itself over and over again because consciousness — this divine pattern is all there is.
What is your greatest extravagance related to your practice?
That doesn’t exist yet. Maybe if I sell a ton of books, it will.
What is your current state of mind?
Ego attrition and experiencing reality directly free from stories about myself, the world, and others.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Rest and trust.
What is the quality you most like in a human?
Divinity / Consciousness / Personal Magic
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
I am the love of my life. My soul is my mate. I’m grateful to have a romantic partner that understands that fundamental way of how I choose to show up in the world of my care of myself.
What about your work brings you the most happiness?
Black American culture is so ineffably unique, and I’m grateful that I get to participate in it through the unique lens of mind-body-spirit health in addition to creative ways of remembering innate wholeness and divinity. There’s nothing quite like it.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I would love to be able to speak any language.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would heal some things in my embodiment that I’m aware of and heal the things that I’m not aware of.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Choosing to stay here despite suicidal ideation.
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Maybe another human again. Maybe.
What would living at Esalen for a month be like for you?
I lived at Esalen for several months — multiple times. I had a romantic fling, amazing housemates, rediscovered my own vastness, had a tree pierce the roof while I slept inches away from my head, had life-changing conversations in the Baths, signed my own books in the bookstore, ate amazing food, worked super hard at cleaning spaces, taught yoga, meditation, self-discovery, journaling, and somatic movement. I danced until I was exhausted, saw spirits, was strong against heartbreak, downloaded new ideas, and created art.
What is your most treasured possession?
Sadhana.
How do you maintain your practice(s) during challenging times?
I keep doing them because, during challenging times, the practices are all I have. Sadhana helps me remember Paradevi and that all is God even when my conditioning “feels” otherwise.
What is your favorite component of your work?
The ability to make something out of nothing and to help people re-center and remember their own divinity.
What is your most marked characteristic?
My voice is really soft. My speech is slow-paced but intentional, and I’m deeply empathetic.
What do you value most in your work/practice?
The constant opportunity to remember that the divine is all there is.
Who are your inspirations?
Dr. Christopher Wallis, Butch Ware, Toni Morrison, Ta-Nehisi Coates, James Baldwin, Angela Davis, Buika, Big Sean, Tupac Shakur, Malidoma Patrice Somé.
Who is your hero of fiction?
I’m writing about them now in my Afrofuturist novel (to be released in two parts, fall 2025 and spring 2026).
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Jean-Michel Basquiat and James Baldwin.
Who are your heroes in real life?
Malidoma Patrice Somé, Dr. Christopher Wallis, Beyoncé, Oprah Winfrey, Angela Davis
What is your greatest regret?
Letting capitalism tell me I should take my life. Fuck capitalism; I’m brilliant.
How would you like to die?
At Esalen — looking at the ocean and at peace.
What is your motto?
No person, no problem.
“Remembering to be as self compassionate as I can and praying to the divine that we're all a part of.”
–Aaron
“Prayer, reading, meditation, walking.”
–Karen
“Erratically — which is an ongoing stream of practice to find peace.”
–Charles
“Try on a daily basis to be kind to myself and to realize that making mistakes is a part of the human condition. Learning from our mistakes is a journey. But it starts with compassion and caring. First for oneself.”
–Steve
“Physically: aerobic exercise, volleyball, ice hockey, cycling, sailing. Emotionally: unfortunately I have to work to ‘not care’ about people or situations which may end painfully. Along the lines of ‘attachment is the source of suffering’, so best to avoid it or limit its scope. Sad though because it could also be the source of great joy. Is it worth the risk?“
–Rainer
“It's time for my heart to be nurtured on one level yet contained on another. To go easy on me and to allow my feelings to be validated, not judged harshly. On the other hand, to let the heart rule with equanimity and not lead the mind and body around like a master.”
–Suzanne
“I spend time thinking of everything I am grateful for, and I try to develop my ability to express compassion for myself and others without reservation. I take time to do the things I need to do to keep myself healthy and happy. This includes taking experiential workshops, fostering relationships, and participating within groups which have a similar interest to become a more compassionate and fulfilled being.“
–Peter
“Self-forgiveness for my own judgments. And oh yeah, coming to Esalen.”
–David B.
“Hmm, this is a tough one! I guess I take care of my heart through fostering relationships with people I feel connected to. Spending quality time with them (whether we're on the phone, through messages/letters, on Zoom, or in-person). Being there for them, listening to them, sharing what's going on with me, my struggles and my successes... like we do in the Esalen weekly Friends of Esalen Zoom sessions!”
–Lori
“I remind myself in many ways of the fact that " Love is all there is!" LOVE is the prize and this one precious life is the stage we get to learn our lessons. I get out into nature, hike, camp, river kayak, fly fish, garden, I create, I dance (not enough!), and I remain grateful for each day, each breath, each moment. Being in the moment, awake, and remembering the gift of life and my feeling of gratitude for all of creation.”
–Steven
“My physical heart by limiting stress and eating a heart-healthy diet. My emotional heart by staying in love with the world and by knowing that all disappointment and loss will pass.“
–David Z.
Today, September 29, is World Heart Day. Strike up a conversation with your own heart and as you feel comfortable, encourage others to do the same. As part of our own transformations and self-care, we sometimes ask for others to illuminate and enliven our hearts or speak our love language.
What if we could do this for ourselves too, even if just for today… or to start a heart practice, forever?
Inspired by 20th-century French writer Marcel Proust, we here at Esalen have created our own version of his favorite parlor game to dig just a little deeper — and differently — into our incredible faculty and staff.
The founder of Black Boys OM on expansiveness, sadhana, and why participating with Black American culture “through the unique lens of mind-body-spirit health” brings him the most happiness. In anticipation of his 2025 workshop, Healing, Rest, and Embodied Liberation for Men of Color, the meditation and yoga instructor reveals some personal heroes, reminds us that the divine is all there is, and shares the very best personal motto we’ve ever heard.
What is Esalen to you?
A reminder of my own expansiveness. A reminder that the fabric of reality is abundant and that I’m not separate from that in my own embodiment or in any other sense.
What do you do/are you doing at Esalen?
I’m co-leading a workshop centering rest and healing for men of color. It’s been a dream of mine to hold space for Black men and men of color at Esalen for a number of years now, and I’m so grateful to see the dream come to life. I created Black Boys OM because the problem of limited access to mind-body health resources for Black boys and men is widespread and severe, this due to a combination of systemic barriers, such as limited representation of Black Male Wellness practitioners in the field, racial disparities in access to healthcare and wellness resources, and the lack of culturally responsive programs and spaces.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Constant awareness of the Divine — to be tapped into and resting in that.
What is your greatest fear in your work?
As time goes on, I think I fear lack of acknowledgement. As much as I say I don’t care, I want my flowers while I’m alive. “Hey, my second book was featured in Forbes! Read the Forbes article and read that book!” “Hey, I wrote five books; buy my books!” “Hey, I worked tirelessly for six and a half years on Black Boys OM and we don’t get nearly enough credit or funding.” Stuff like that.
Which living or dead person do you most admire in your field?
Abinvagupta, the Indian philosopher, aesthetician, musician, poet, dramatist, and theologian from the 10th century, was a badass. Abinavupta is a great sage of Classical Tantra (Nondual Shakta-Shaiva Tantra) and he articulated what it meant for this tradition to touch the lives of householders. Classical Tantra does not seek transcendence from the body or isolation from the world but rather full experience of all that life is and has to offer because the divine is a pattern that is indistinguishable from the fabric of reality itself. All pervasive consciousness expressing, disclosing, and awakening to itself over and over again because consciousness — this divine pattern is all there is.
What is your greatest extravagance related to your practice?
That doesn’t exist yet. Maybe if I sell a ton of books, it will.
What is your current state of mind?
Ego attrition and experiencing reality directly free from stories about myself, the world, and others.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Rest and trust.
What is the quality you most like in a human?
Divinity / Consciousness / Personal Magic
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
I am the love of my life. My soul is my mate. I’m grateful to have a romantic partner that understands that fundamental way of how I choose to show up in the world of my care of myself.
What about your work brings you the most happiness?
Black American culture is so ineffably unique, and I’m grateful that I get to participate in it through the unique lens of mind-body-spirit health in addition to creative ways of remembering innate wholeness and divinity. There’s nothing quite like it.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I would love to be able to speak any language.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would heal some things in my embodiment that I’m aware of and heal the things that I’m not aware of.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Choosing to stay here despite suicidal ideation.
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Maybe another human again. Maybe.
What would living at Esalen for a month be like for you?
I lived at Esalen for several months — multiple times. I had a romantic fling, amazing housemates, rediscovered my own vastness, had a tree pierce the roof while I slept inches away from my head, had life-changing conversations in the Baths, signed my own books in the bookstore, ate amazing food, worked super hard at cleaning spaces, taught yoga, meditation, self-discovery, journaling, and somatic movement. I danced until I was exhausted, saw spirits, was strong against heartbreak, downloaded new ideas, and created art.
What is your most treasured possession?
Sadhana.
How do you maintain your practice(s) during challenging times?
I keep doing them because, during challenging times, the practices are all I have. Sadhana helps me remember Paradevi and that all is God even when my conditioning “feels” otherwise.
What is your favorite component of your work?
The ability to make something out of nothing and to help people re-center and remember their own divinity.
What is your most marked characteristic?
My voice is really soft. My speech is slow-paced but intentional, and I’m deeply empathetic.
What do you value most in your work/practice?
The constant opportunity to remember that the divine is all there is.
Who are your inspirations?
Dr. Christopher Wallis, Butch Ware, Toni Morrison, Ta-Nehisi Coates, James Baldwin, Angela Davis, Buika, Big Sean, Tupac Shakur, Malidoma Patrice Somé.
Who is your hero of fiction?
I’m writing about them now in my Afrofuturist novel (to be released in two parts, fall 2025 and spring 2026).
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Jean-Michel Basquiat and James Baldwin.
Who are your heroes in real life?
Malidoma Patrice Somé, Dr. Christopher Wallis, Beyoncé, Oprah Winfrey, Angela Davis
What is your greatest regret?
Letting capitalism tell me I should take my life. Fuck capitalism; I’m brilliant.
How would you like to die?
At Esalen — looking at the ocean and at peace.
What is your motto?
No person, no problem.
“Remembering to be as self compassionate as I can and praying to the divine that we're all a part of.”
–Aaron
“Prayer, reading, meditation, walking.”
–Karen
“Erratically — which is an ongoing stream of practice to find peace.”
–Charles
“Try on a daily basis to be kind to myself and to realize that making mistakes is a part of the human condition. Learning from our mistakes is a journey. But it starts with compassion and caring. First for oneself.”
–Steve
“Physically: aerobic exercise, volleyball, ice hockey, cycling, sailing. Emotionally: unfortunately I have to work to ‘not care’ about people or situations which may end painfully. Along the lines of ‘attachment is the source of suffering’, so best to avoid it or limit its scope. Sad though because it could also be the source of great joy. Is it worth the risk?“
–Rainer
“It's time for my heart to be nurtured on one level yet contained on another. To go easy on me and to allow my feelings to be validated, not judged harshly. On the other hand, to let the heart rule with equanimity and not lead the mind and body around like a master.”
–Suzanne
“I spend time thinking of everything I am grateful for, and I try to develop my ability to express compassion for myself and others without reservation. I take time to do the things I need to do to keep myself healthy and happy. This includes taking experiential workshops, fostering relationships, and participating within groups which have a similar interest to become a more compassionate and fulfilled being.“
–Peter
“Self-forgiveness for my own judgments. And oh yeah, coming to Esalen.”
–David B.
“Hmm, this is a tough one! I guess I take care of my heart through fostering relationships with people I feel connected to. Spending quality time with them (whether we're on the phone, through messages/letters, on Zoom, or in-person). Being there for them, listening to them, sharing what's going on with me, my struggles and my successes... like we do in the Esalen weekly Friends of Esalen Zoom sessions!”
–Lori
“I remind myself in many ways of the fact that " Love is all there is!" LOVE is the prize and this one precious life is the stage we get to learn our lessons. I get out into nature, hike, camp, river kayak, fly fish, garden, I create, I dance (not enough!), and I remain grateful for each day, each breath, each moment. Being in the moment, awake, and remembering the gift of life and my feeling of gratitude for all of creation.”
–Steven
“My physical heart by limiting stress and eating a heart-healthy diet. My emotional heart by staying in love with the world and by knowing that all disappointment and loss will pass.“
–David Z.
Today, September 29, is World Heart Day. Strike up a conversation with your own heart and as you feel comfortable, encourage others to do the same. As part of our own transformations and self-care, we sometimes ask for others to illuminate and enliven our hearts or speak our love language.
What if we could do this for ourselves too, even if just for today… or to start a heart practice, forever?
Esalen Institute
55000 Highway 1
Big Sur, CA 93920
US: 1-831-667-3000
info@esalen.org
